My Guilt-Free Affair

I am having a love affair and I couldn't keep it to myself any longer. My affair is the kind that's lesser heard of than those of the heart. My experience is not entirely unique, I've heard of others enjoying a similar thing. Author of 'Eat, Pray, Love' Liz Gilbert, of Oprah-esque fame touches on this kind of an affair during her time in Italy. It's not so much the gorgeous men who whet Liz's appetite, it's the delicious food, the pizza, pasta, red wine and coffee.

My own affair is something akin to Liz's, it's one of the stomach and involves much delight for my taste buds. Let me give you an example of the fun I am having, today my 'diet' looked like this:

Brekky: Vegemite and real butter on dark dark rye and a cup of black tea with milk.

Snack: Almonds

Lunch: 2 champagne ham and jarlsberg cheese croissants, a decaf long machatio (made with creamy unhomogenised organic milk)

Snack: Rice crackers with spicy pumpkin dip from a local deli and meredith goats cheese in olive oil.

Dinner: In a matter of minutes I will be devouring a gourmet chicken, leek and swiss cheese pie with roasted veges and generous amounts of steamed broccoli, carrot and zuchini.

Dessert: Grilled fresh peach with vanilla custard (I made my own with the yummy aforementioned milk).

If your mouth isn't watering just a little, then you really should stop reading, because clearly we're not on the same wavelength. However if my day of food has turned you a little bit green, read on, you might even get inspired to join in the fun of a food affair.

So what caused the affair?

For anyone who knows me I have been and generally still am a bit 'careful' with my food. Since realising that wheat, sugar and sometimes dairy are not my friends over the past however many years I have gone through phases of being super strict or really lax.

Right now I am doing a bit more balance, though admittedly a naturopath may have a thing or two to say about my current diet. In my defense, I am eating plenty of veges.

Am I getting fat?

Nope, I lost a heap of weight being hyperthyroid- I am now about 8kg shy of what I was before I got sick. So if I put on some weight that's fine with me. This kind of attitude is a first for me in my adult life. Also, I think that because I haven't been eating refined sugar or fructose for 3 months now I don't run the risk of excess calories through sweet temptations. Also, I like really good quality foods and because I don't waste money on desserts or sweets I feel I can spend an extra couple of dollars to enjoy a gourmet pie, with less fat, quality ingredients and alot more taste- the quality makes it more nutritious. This concept is written about in 'French Women Don't Get Fat'. Interestingly it's the diet/lifestyle book that has spoken the most sense to me, ever. Disclaimer: I may be biased because I love everything french.

To summise my new found affair and how it 'works'-for the most part I try to include one yummy/special meal a day and ensure that I rarely eat food for the sake of being 'healthy'. Boring food makes me not want to eat it, however I do appreciate simple quality fresh food. My appetite has been on and off during the past 18 months of illness, to the point where the lack of interest in food has been scary and I have struggled to even eat a piece of toast. I learned to celebrate it being 'on' with yummy food. My appetite is not nearly as big as it used to be, so I make the most of it by not eating much between meals and then having a yummy (not neccesarily big) meal at meal times. You have to work with what you've got...

Facing Fatigue

Yuck, I don't like the word fatigue, it makes me feel tired and weak. I'm feeling a bit that way anyway today, fatigue seems to have crept in to my life increasingly in the past two or so weeks. I'm no stranger to fatigue, it's been a part of my life for atleast a year and in the last 8 or so months it's been a serious hurdle to being able to live life as I'd like to. My mind will have an idea about what I'd like to do, I then have to consult my body and we either do it regardless of low energy and just push through because I really want to do it. Or my body decides it's all too much effort and I stay still and rest. The last couple of days it seems that pushing through would just be unkind and way way too hard, so I've been fairly still. Feeling this way truly isn't fun, but I recognise that my best chance of feeling well right now is to accept that it is what it is, not to delve into 'what's wrong with me?' and getting grumpy with my body. So this morning I decided to choose gratitude for what is, I think about why I'm lucky, why things are just fine...and that's all there is to it.

I also went outside for some fresh air and sun (through the clouds), I admired my plants and how much they've grown with the rain, I listened to the birds song and realised that I'd never truly appreciated the sounds they make, I'd just not felt an appreciation for it and hadn't been able to force it. Today it was nice to hear the birds and for the first time I understood why my Mum comments on enjoying listening to the birds. I picked some of my mint and brought it inside and made some mint tea. I took my herbs from the Naturopath which are meant to pep me up and some magnesium which does wonders. For my morning tea I chose almonds and a banana over my home made cake to avoid sugar and to boost my energy with some nutrient dense food, I'm committed to nurturing my body today. I hope the fatigue will fade and energy and strength will emerge.

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Find Joy

'Get back into the flow of life, find the joy' were the words of advice my Naturopath offered on Friday. Your new mantra is 'I have excellent health, I am in balance' she told me. It was just the inspiration I needed and I decided to do it fairly quickly. I contacted a friend who I'd been wanting to catch up with and organised a night out in Chapel St at a cool bar/restaurant where they do an amazing cocktail. The boyfriend came too and we had a great dinner and plenty of conversation. I referred to it as my Saturday night debut, because I haven't really been out in the city like that for quite a while.

I found joy in just being there, in amongst it and feeling just fine. I found joy in the moments where my boyfriend missed the point in conversation with my friend and said something typically male. For example, she told us she was thinking about the possibility of her fairly new boyfriend moving in with her when she moves into the place she's bought next year. She spoke of the idea with a level of hesitation, which other women read as seeking some advice or reassurance and then we then promptly offer the said reassurance or gently probe for further information. Before I'd had a chance to do any such thing my boyfriend quickly contributed to the conversation with some financial advice 'You could get him on the lease and negatively gear it' he suggested.' I had to laugh, he had completely skipped past the discussion about how she felt about the idea, the pros and cons, worries or hopes and offered a logical viewpoint to ensure she knew it would be a financially viable move.

We continued on, catching up on family and friends, discussing the future, sharing thoughts on marriage and babies as comes up amongst women. Some stories shared were a little sad, relationships not working, closeted sexuality, same-sex marriage but very much a normal part of dinner conversation when girlfriends catch up. The boyfriend after some time felt compelled to ask why we discuss 'such depressing things' so my friend attempted to change the topic to cricket. I was impressed with her level of skill in doing so, as I really could have come up with nothing on the topic myself. The cricket conversation faded out very quickly and turned to eating disorders, where the boyfriend chimed in with a suggestion that KFC would be a quick fix, because it's so delicious I guess?

Although it was a bit tricky finding common ground for discussion, we mostly gave up and just left the boyfriend to interject with jokes or inappropriate comments wherever he felt the need and ensured his drink didn't stay empty for long. I found joy in the evening, alot of joy. To have dinner and drinks with a great friend and my boyfriend in a classy bar/restaurant was awesome. It was nice that the two of them got to know each other bettter and even though I subjected the boyfriend to some ridicule on the train home about his comments, I did really find him very amusing and he made for a good laugh throughout the night. I also made a note to self to avoid putting him in that situation again, particularly when the friend and I have so much to catch up on.

So that was my joy, yesterday. I also went for a walk in the sun and loved it. Today my joy involved watching Gossip Girl and reading the paper. It's only 3pm, I've got plenty of time to find more. I might even bake a cake and en-joy a slice!

What brings you Joy?

Not in the mood for Joy today? Over the whole trying to be happy deal? You must read Sarah Wilson's latest article where she talks about the benefits of not being happy. You'll feel like you've been given permission to turn that smile into a frown once you're done.

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The answer is writing....cafe reviews?

I've been a little absent from The Answer Is Writing lately, in this case no news does mean good news. I've been feeling a bit better and getting out and about more. I have also been trying my hand at writing coffee reviews on wherespresso.com. Friends of mine have joked that I'd make a good food reviewer, because I am quite fussy about where I go for my food and coffee. I'm less fussy about dinner, dinner is dinner, essential but a bit boring. But coffee,breakfast, morning and afternoon tea and lunch, well they are important to me. I love having lunch out, even better, brunch. It's something I haven't been able to do for over two months for two reasons. A) I was too tired and unwell. B) I was in my hometown where the options are bakery....or bakery, for breakfast and lunch. I never eat at bakeries by choice when I'm in Melbourne, because until I was 18 that was the only choice I had and I've had bakery food up to here. My folks have a coffee machine at home and we sourced my favourite rye bread from the supermarket in the next biggest town, stocking the freezer full of it so as not to run out between trips to Coles.

Eating out in the hometown is a bit disappointing, there isn't a bakery in town that can compare with Mum and Dad's food. Therefore I happily ate breakfast, brunch and snacks at home, when I wasn't drinking coffee I had a delicious chai sourced by Mum at a market. It's called Chai Rocks and can be found at teasetea.com.au; it was so good I went through the first bag in a week and then re-ordered via the net. It's so real that it has whole pieces of star anise and you can see the spices in it, just like chai ought to be.

So I have my favourite cafes around the bayside 'burbs and I decided to write some reviews on them from the couch in the country. The next best thing to being there is reminiscing and feeling like you're there as you mentally scan the cafe, taste the coffee and peruse the menu so as to come up with the words to describe it well.

I've been back in Melbourne for 5 days now and have been to a few cafes, two that I'm new to and one old favourite. The old favourite being Las Chicas on Carslisle St- they do the most amazing chai! With the chai you get one of those special honey sticks in a full cup of honey, it feels truly decadent as you pour the delicious milk from the teapot through the strainer (because it's made with real tea!) and add as much honey as you like to this creamy delight. There's enough tea in the pot to re-fill your cup a few times. I always have it with soy, which gives it a full creamy flavour, but seeing as the Endocrinologist has warned me not have any soy products I am drinking skinny milk :-(. Though it was good it just wasn't the same!

Ok, that's all I have to say, just wanted to let you know that the answer is still writing, I've just been elsewhere. If you're interested to check out some of my reviews here are some links:

http://wherespresso.com/review/il-fornaio-st-kilda-vic-australia/

http://wherespresso.com/review/combicoffee-elwood-melbourne-vic-australia/

http://wherespresso.com/review/the-barn-shepparton-vic-australia/


P.S I got great news on Friday at the specialist, my thyroid levels are down to nearly within the normal range, so while I'm still hyperthyroid I am heading in the right direction. On the down side the endocrinologist wasn't good at listening to me about my belief that Bonsoy has played a role in the onset of my illness, in fact he was really stubborn even though he conceded it was a very real possibility that it was the cause. I found him to be very rude, every time I went to say something he would interupt me abruptly, making it very clear he would not open his mind, nor did he care to hear what I said. I was really frustrated afterwards, so this is the last I'll speak of it here because I just want to be positive, look forwards and let that go. He just doesn't fit with my expectations of a health professional and is now my ex-endo, I am seeing someone else next month who I have been told is empathetic and knows how to listen. I will update here after I have seen my new endocrinologist.