Sunday, November 21, 2010

Find Joy

'Get back into the flow of life, find the joy' were the words of advice my Naturopath offered on Friday. Your new mantra is 'I have excellent health, I am in balance' she told me. It was just the inspiration I needed and I decided to do it fairly quickly. I contacted a friend who I'd been wanting to catch up with and organised a night out in Chapel St at a cool bar/restaurant where they do an amazing cocktail. The boyfriend came too and we had a great dinner and plenty of conversation. I referred to it as my Saturday night debut, because I haven't really been out in the city like that for quite a while.

I found joy in just being there, in amongst it and feeling just fine. I found joy in the moments where my boyfriend missed the point in conversation with my friend and said something typically male. For example, she told us she was thinking about the possibility of her fairly new boyfriend moving in with her when she moves into the place she's bought next year. She spoke of the idea with a level of hesitation, which other women read as seeking some advice or reassurance and then we then promptly offer the said reassurance or gently probe for further information. Before I'd had a chance to do any such thing my boyfriend quickly contributed to the conversation with some financial advice 'You could get him on the lease and negatively gear it' he suggested.' I had to laugh, he had completely skipped past the discussion about how she felt about the idea, the pros and cons, worries or hopes and offered a logical viewpoint to ensure she knew it would be a financially viable move.

We continued on, catching up on family and friends, discussing the future, sharing thoughts on marriage and babies as comes up amongst women. Some stories shared were a little sad, relationships not working, closeted sexuality, same-sex marriage but very much a normal part of dinner conversation when girlfriends catch up. The boyfriend after some time felt compelled to ask why we discuss 'such depressing things' so my friend attempted to change the topic to cricket. I was impressed with her level of skill in doing so, as I really could have come up with nothing on the topic myself. The cricket conversation faded out very quickly and turned to eating disorders, where the boyfriend chimed in with a suggestion that KFC would be a quick fix, because it's so delicious I guess?

Although it was a bit tricky finding common ground for discussion, we mostly gave up and just left the boyfriend to interject with jokes or inappropriate comments wherever he felt the need and ensured his drink didn't stay empty for long. I found joy in the evening, alot of joy. To have dinner and drinks with a great friend and my boyfriend in a classy bar/restaurant was awesome. It was nice that the two of them got to know each other bettter and even though I subjected the boyfriend to some ridicule on the train home about his comments, I did really find him very amusing and he made for a good laugh throughout the night. I also made a note to self to avoid putting him in that situation again, particularly when the friend and I have so much to catch up on.

So that was my joy, yesterday. I also went for a walk in the sun and loved it. Today my joy involved watching Gossip Girl and reading the paper. It's only 3pm, I've got plenty of time to find more. I might even bake a cake and en-joy a slice!

What brings you Joy?

Not in the mood for Joy today? Over the whole trying to be happy deal? You must read Sarah Wilson's latest article where she talks about the benefits of not being happy. You'll feel like you've been given permission to turn that smile into a frown once you're done.

1 comment:

  1. Just a little Joy update- The cake was great and I had friends come over for a surprise visit, we en-joyed a vino in the courtyard and some catching up, I loved it. The bf and I followed this with a delicious bolognese and home made garlic bread for dinner. Oh and I set up the Christmas tree, so we had lovely lights in the loungeroom which was a little exciting. Finding the joy in Christmas rather than the fear and grumbling :-)


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