More grey than blue..practicing acceptance

I recently wrote a post about arriving in struggle town. It was about how crappy I was feeling. Interestingly the post took a positive turn as I explored things other than how poorly I felt. It took me to places I did not know I'd go; discussions of a future trip to France and my memories of how I came to fall in love with all things French.

Today I am also spending the day in somewhere like Struggle Town. A couple of things have happened that didn't feel great, or just a little uncomfortable. In my already unwell state the skies seemed to be more grey than blue today. I was nearly not going to write; why would you spread misery Sarah? I asked myself, how about today you just lie in bed and keep quiet?

Then I remembered my commitment to welcoming all that I experience, the good the bad and the ugly. Theoretically it's true, just that when I considered not writing I was really judging how I am negatively. Today feels something like 'bad' and I decided it was consequently 'ugly' and therefore I wouldn't be writing on my blog and exposing the ugliness. I like pretty nice things, blue skies, sunshine and butterflies.

It's a whole lot of judgment I placed upon myself on how I am in this very moment. I told myself not to write unless I had something positive to say; I couldn't be sure that I would. I find that I always want to put a positive spin on things, probably more for the sake of others than myself. This led me to decide that I wanted to honour the seemingly bad and ugly; because hiding this is to hide a part of my experience. I wouldn't expect others to hold back on the less pleasant aspects of their lives. I really like Ghandi's 'Be the change you wish to see in the world'. Today I am.

I want to see people being honest about it all. I want for people who don't feel well to be able to say it, experience it and not run away from it. Speaking of running away, you should have seen what I did last night! It was certainly not the first time I did it, but it was the first time that my own awareness caught me. I was feeling something, really feeling. I was really missing my boyfriend. It hurt. I picked up my phone and sent a text, then I picked up the computer and logged on to all my communication gadgets- facebook, twitter etc. I just wanted to escape the feeling, I hated feeling it and I knew I could distract myself. I managed to temporarily avoid the uncomfortable emotion; whilst also acknowledging what I was doing. I chose to go ahead with my plan to distract, because I wasn't sure what else to do, but I saw how I ran away from feeling. Awareness is the first step, it is key.

So I guess today the moral of my story is not to run away, not to hide. Be real and authentic and try not to be afraid of what it might look or sound like. I am now going to publish this post and do my best to accept it as it is; a day in struggletown, not much fun but not 'bad' or 'ugly. It is what it is on this very day. I choose acceptance.

Food v Pleasure- what is more nourishing?

image from philosophicalsociety.com

Today I'm trialling a new approach to writing, I am going to write on a specific and somewhat factual topic. The somewhat is my official disclaimer. Ok, there are some facts here and lots of opinion. I'm not a scientist, I'm a philosopher.

The question is, Food V Pleasure, what is more nourishing?

Last Christmas I asked my partner to buy me a book called 'The Power of Pleasure'. It was a book that suggested that the way in which we consume our food has much more to do with our health than the actual food we consume.

It was a theory I was very much interested in before stumbling across the book in a second hand book shop in Bendigo; I'd been mulling the idea over in my own mind for a few months previously.


I have tried many kinds of diets and approaches, I have seen naturopaths, nutritionists and psychologists to discuss food. I have obsessed over such ideas from the age of 18, perhaps earlier. Why did I start? To oversimplify it, because I put on weight and had low energy as a result of too many carbs and too much alcohol in my first year of Uni. Why haven't I stopped? Because it is clearly such a passion for me. It started as an interest while in school, food and health were my favourite classes, then turned into an obsession and is now one of my great passions.

At times I have desperately wanted THE answer. Are the vegetarians right? Is the naturopath correct in suggesting eliminating most of my staple foods- wheat, dairy and sugar? Is the dietitian right when she feels sorry for this confused young woman with all her ideas and recommends she get straight back into that food pyramid (weet-bix and cow's milk for brekky)? Is my Dad right when he tells me balance is key? As he washes down his manufactured and refined jam fancy biscuits for his morning and afternoon snack with a good old cow's milk latte.
I find myself wondering (worrying?) could I have coeliacs and not know it? Am I just wheat intolerant? Or is it just the extra nasties added to many wheat products that's not good for me.. or anyone; but I'm just super sensitive to them. Ok, I admit I am still quite confused about what's really good for you. I am channelling this energy into a healthy appetite for learning about all things nutrition, whilst keeping an open mind.

I know that much of our well-being is affected by our thoughts and feelings, it leads me to wonder if the answer to good health does lie in pleasure? Is it as simple as the book suggested? Is it the way we feel and think about our food that is key to our health?

The book suggests enjoying our food and all sorts of pleasures courtesy of our 5  senses. I question whether we truly only have five senses, but I digress, that discussion is for another time. Now, back to pleasure, I believe that our emotional and mental state when it comes to food is a vital factor in our well-being. For example, if we truly believe that something is bad for us or the food is 'naughty' it then becomes guilt inducing, hence we are likely to become uptight during the meal.

So what happens when the body is anxious? Our muscles tense and adrenaline courses through the body to aid with the fight or flight response. The wonderful flight or fight response is essential for if and when we encounter real danger. It helps us to be super strong to fight and survive or super quick to run away. It is an overused and overstimulated response in our modern western world. An imminent deadline, an intimidating boss or a stressful driving situation among many others is enough to trigger our body's natural response to danger- adrenaline.

Adrenaline is a hormone secreted by our adrenal glands when we feel under threat. The brain can not distinguish between real and imagined danger; therefore it may send signals to the adrenals to start 'doing their thing' just because we have an irrational fear of birds and a sparrow lands at our feet.

Consequently, if we are stressed or anxious at meal times our body is preparing to fight whatever is about to be consumed, or run away with fear. Here's a little science from someone who has basically been studying humanities and languages since Year 11; when adrenaline is present in the body, our digestion ceases to function. Think about it, the whole point of the 'fight or flight' response was so as way back in the day, if we were confronted by a dangerous situation we would be able to defend ourselves, or run very quickly. Adrenaline helped our bodies to make us capable of more strength, speed and agility aswell as stopping the organs such as the digestive system from working during this time so as all the body's energy could be used solely for survival purposes.


The key here is that when we feel anxious and are not in a state of pleasure, perhaps because just looking at pizza elicits feelings guilt and remorse, perhaps causing an anxious response. Even if the adrenals don't kick into action, when we feel uptight our organs and muscles are no longer relaxed and won't function at their optimal; hence digestion will not be 100%. The same would apply if you are stressed and anxious for other reasons; our digestion is just not going to work nearly as effectively as if we were in a state of relaxation and pleasure.


This is why I think there's truly something in the teachings offered in 'French Women Don't Get Fat'. The book teaches us to source the finest and freshest produce and to make wonderful food from using herbs and other wonderful natural sources of flavour. It encourages using all the senses, for example, when shopping at the market for food the books discusses engaging with stall holders, listening to the wonderful hustle and bustle of shoppers, smelling the wonderful scent of a ready to eat peach and touching your produce. It seems to me it is the French woman's version of mindfulness.

According to my reading, French women prepare their food mindfully and it follows that they eat in the same way. They are aware that eating too much bread in one day or gorging on pain au chocolate is not true pleasure. Pleasure is about all 5 senses being engaged in the sourcing, preparation and consumption of food. The table is set, food can be consumed with beautiful music and or company and it is done so at a table that is set to honour the meal time. There is no rush, no tv, no fast food. Meal times are to be treated with respect. In understanding this I suspect that it is far more likely that the French can enjoy their food, stimulating the senses, rather than with feelings of fear or guilt attached. I propose that consumption of a meal in such a way means that ones digestive organs would be relaxed and functioning, as opposed to 'shut down' in a state of anxiety.

Having explored how the emotional and mental aspects can impact on our physical being, let us now return to question the importance of the quality or type of food we choose to eat. Is our good health truly all tied up in eating in a state of pleasure or is there more to it?

I believe that if all we ever consumed was pizza and beer with great delight, we would probably digest these ok, at least as best as is possible and should consequently absorb nutrients as best as possible (this is in the case of those without wheat or gluten intolerance/allergies).

However, if we were to find ways to consume a wide range of foods, the most part being those that are provided to us from the earth, in a state of pleasure and gratitude, following something similar to the French approach to food, I propose that we could then absorb many wonderful nutrients and sources of energy from our food. Now this could just be the ideal approach.

I have certainly not developed a definitive answer to how we can eat in order to achieve optimal health, but I believe that pleasure is a significant clue, as is the types of foods we consume and how close they are to their natural state. I must say I think different approaches work for different people; so there is no one answer. Stay tuned for further questions and musings on the energetics of food eg. manufactured, processed, natural, fresh, canned etc. and their effect on our health.

If you've got thoughts on the topic please leave a comment, I'd love to hear them.

Like The Answer Is Writing? You might also like Inner Beam.

A love of learning...

I love this rose too!
Image from robodesign.ro

The topic of the day is Education. Why? Because I want more. Why today? Because I have just been reading about Sarah Wilson's interview with Edward De Bono, a man well known for his ideas about thinking and the 'Six Thinking Hats'. I felt that the following words as written by Sarah captured the essence of what The Answer Is Writing is about. It also got me to thinking more about Education and theorists, taking me back to my time as a teaching student.

Sarah wrote:

We’ve been raised, he says, to think in order to “hurry up and find an answer”. Instead, thinking should be about being open and random and exploring possibilities. It’s the process that matters. And from it, value – not answers – emerge.

I feel that Edward's thoughts reflect how I feel, and offer one possible explanation for why I believe the answer is writing. I don't truly anticipate this blog is a blog of answers in the straight forward black and white sense. The word 'answers' is a metaphor for the process that happens when I write and what is revealed as I partake in the process. The name of this blog suggests answers come from writing; it would be more accurate to say that value comes from the exploration that is synonymous with my writing.

Not only was I impressed with Edward De Bono's words because they are align with my own sentiments, his work has been of interest to me since my grade six teacher used his theory of 'The six thinking hats' successfully in our class. His theory provides a process for thinking through topics, for example you use the Red hat for feelings, Black Hat for negatives etc.

Eight years later I was studying Education at University, and learning about Edward De Bono and other educational theorists. I think these studies of the psychology of education were of the greatest interest to me. I felt that their ideas could extend well beyond the classroom. My favourites were Edward De Bono, Howard Gardener and his Multiple Intelligences and Vygotsky's  'zone of proximal development'.

As much as I enjoyed learning about these theories, I didn't enjoy the actual practice of primary school teaching. After four different placements across two years of study it became quite clear that my heart did not lie in the classroom. Looking back I can see some of the clues that Primary Teaching wasn't the path for me. One would be the panic attack I had on my very first primary school placement while walking with a teacher around the school yard. We were going around and around and kids were yelling, screaming, running. I remember feeling incredibly dizzy and anxious. I rationalised it by believing it was low blood sugar, from not eating my morning snack yet. I didn't mention it to anyone and I certainly did not know what a panic attack was. In hindsight I think it was one of the first clues that my heart and soul was not wanting to pursue teaching.

I also remember sitting in my first Psychology 101 class, I had chosen Psychology as my elective and there were very few of my fellow teaching students in the class, it was made up of nursing, arts and social work students. As I sat listening to my lecturer, completely engaged and excited about studying Psychology a few tears rolled down my cheek. I wished I could spend all of lectures feeling this way, learning about such interesting things. I'd fallen in love with Psychology. I think the realisation that something could make me feel this way in addition to the knowing that the rest of my course seemed far less appealing in comparison brought the tears on.

Two years later I was quite miserable studying Education and made the decision to transfer into a Social Work degree. A few years later after I'd graduated I re-discovered Vygotsky's work whilst attending the International Narrative Therapy Conference in Adelaide. A whole hour was dedicated to how Vygotsky's work had influenced the development of Narrative Therapy and what his theories could do in supporting our understandings as therapists. I can't truly explain why, but I was captivated. It was the highlight of the conference, I found the rest fairly bland, apart from the session on polyamoury (having many lovers/relationships), that was a real eye opener! We heard from people who have chosen polyamoury about how it is possible, even wonderful, to have more than one lover in a very honest, adult and fair way.

However it wasn't polygamy that drew me in, it was hearing about Vygotsky that did it. When I returned home from the conference I began researching more on the Internet.
Vygotsky worked in the area of psychology for 10 years before he died in his late 30's after contracting TB from his brother whom he was caring for. In those 10 years he achieved a huge amount, he developed and wrote about 18 or more works, including those still very prominent in educational psychology today. If you're interested to learn more, I suggest googling him; I did and you can see a list of many of his works here. His history and achievements are amazing.

I still find certain areas of psychology extremely interesting, and the reason I didn't pursue it as an undergraduate is because the course sounded to be fairly scientific, and I knew it would take at least 6 years more study on top of the 2 years I'd already done to become a qualified psychologist. I was keen to get out there working and chose Social Work instead. I don't question the move now, as I still feel little interest in taking up studies of behavioural science. But my passion for learning i still very much alive, I'd like to feed that flame some more.

I'm not too sure what I might pursue in order to fulfill and fuel my desire for further study yet. I think it involves some form of psychology, perhaps learning and education related, learning more about the mind body soul connection (metaphysics) and health and nutrition. I'd love to learn more about writing too, but not about academic writing, more about the creative, expressive fun kind of writing!

So I'm still riding that train, enjoying the scenery, embracing that which tickles my fancy. Next stop?? Who knows, perhaps I'll just keep chugging along for a while and enjoy the ride.