Navigating health systems....trusting your gut.

As I have written about recently, I've been meditating, in order to help myself feel better and to give my body the space and tranquility it needs for healing. However, there's other things apart from meditation that I am doing for my Self as a part of my journey to feel well. I find that discussing what's going on for me with someone who can understand helps alot. It might be a psychologist, doctor, reiki practitioner, naturopath or chinese doctor. As I've written about recently, I have decided not to simply leave my health in the hands of a specialist, but to be pro-active in learning more about hyperthyroidism and the possible causes and cures.

I am trying to support my healing in a really holistic way. Fortunately my alternative health practitioners are open to working with conventional western medicine and employ an open mind and allow their intuition to offer me guidance. I appreciate this hugely, because I know just how powerful intuition can be. I know that science has it's place and is incredibly important; which is why I wouldn't deny it. But I certainly do question why some doctors and specialists are choosy about which science they listen to, I also think critically about the ways in which they come to learn their particular science; who taught them? Who decided what was to be a part of the curriculum and what wasn't? Which pharmaceutical companies are involved in doctor's ongoing education?

I know it's controversial to talk in this way, but I don't expect anyone reading this to share my views, I don't propose to know it all. But I do want to talk about my wonderings about the whole western medicine deal. This has come up for me this week because I called my GP to discuss with her about my belief that my condition has come about as a result of drinking the soy product Bonsoy. For those who don't know, Bonsoy was recalled just before Christmas last year after 10+ people became ill after drinking the product over an extended period of time. The people who consumed the product all had thyroid conditions as a result of the excess iodine. Just one eighth of a cup of Bonsoy contained more than the safe levels of iodine that we should consume in one day. I drank an average of 2-3 cups of Bonsoy a day for about 2 years. She was very dismissive of what I had to say; debating the science of it and telling me that the most common cause of overactive thyroids in young women is Grave's disease.

Ok, Doctor, I may not have a degree in Medicine, but I am thinking that if it is now known that 25+ people know for sure that their thyroids made them sick after drinking Bonsoy, and I don't have a family history of thyroid disease, and I was drinking 24+ times the amount of iodine that I should have in a day for about 2 years, and the medication for Grave's disease didn't work as expected in my first month of treatment...is it not just as likely that excess iodine consumption has called my illness?

My final suggestion to the Dr was that my naturopath believed it likely that I had an excess of iodine in my system. The Dr then completely undermined the field of Naturopathy by telling me that they don't go to University and don't study bio-chemistry. And finally, warned me not to take any herbs from the Naturopath. She said I could see the Naturopath if it made me feel better to talk to her, but other than that, not to take on any advice from anyone other than my specialist. Uh, Dr, I can see a psychologist to talk, I see a Naturopath for a natural and holistic approach to healing and to learn from their wisdom. Just in case anyone is wondering, Naturopath's study for their degree, full time it takes four years.

So you can imagine how I felt after the conversation with the Dr, incredibly disappointed. She was afraid I was going to give up on the western medicine approach and 'go off with the pixies' or something. No, I am an intelligent young woman, trying to learn as much as I can about my condition so as I can make informed choices, because I want to get to the bottom of this and I want to be well! This means I'm going to explore various avenues for my own healing. I also listen to my own intuition and to people I trust around me. Two health professionals suggested I see the Naturopath that I did because they told me she has helped people with thryoid issues before; she is also personally experienced because she works with a western medicine Dr to help with her own thyroid issue.

I don't claim to have all of the answers, but I am definitely asking questions. Yes, I can get conflicting answers and it is sad when someone you like and wish to trust gives you advice that goes against what your believe in and what your gut is telling you. I am choosing to trust myself, while playing it as safe as I can and keeping the people with the knowledge close to me.

For now I don't have lots of answers, but I think all the questions are helping me to get closer. I also feel a sense of calm about things and trust that I am headed in the right direction with the right people. I also trust in myself and ability to listen to my own intution. Intuition might not be in the dictionary for GP's, but I am sure keeping it in mine!

If you've got a thought on this topic, please share them with me, I'd love to hear from you.

P.S Here's a link to find Doctors in your state who have studied at the Australian College of Nutritional & Environmental Medicine. I'm going to find one in Melbourne and see what they can offer, I shall let you know here!

Like The Answer Is Writing? You might also like my other blog, Inner Beam.

The day I found out I had an autoimmune disease

8 days ago I was leaving an interview with a recruitment agency, the interview had gone incredibly well I thought. I felt some pride in having been completely honest with the recruiter about who I am, where I have been and where I would like to go. Even more impressive was how honest the recruiter herself was with me; I felt pleased as I observed her surprising herself at how much she was sharing of herself during the interview. I honoured her sharing, but took responsibility for creating the environment where she might 'overstep' the mark. 'I started it' I said with a reassuring smile.

I left the interview feeling it was a positive experience, but incredibly dubious about the jobs she was suggesting I might go for. I know my CV suggests I might be the ideal candidate for these types of jobs. The problem is that deep down I know that however capable I might be of undertaking such intense social work roles it is not what I want. I don't want to spend my days intervening in families who are underpriviledged, suffering and often due to long term inter-generational patterns of abuse, mental & physical illness, drug & alcohol problems...and the list goes on. I don't even want to fill a paragraph with this talk. Why on earth am I considering returning to such work? I feel it no longer matches my vibration, nor my need for learning & growth.

I had left the interview and stood descending in the lift of this big city building. I experienced polarising energies- that of a positive interview experience where I could be authentic and successful; and opposingly, the dread of actually following through on job opportunities I can hardly bare to speak of. Before I'd reached the ground floor my mobile rang. It was my GP's clinic asking me to come in ASAP. Fear struck straight away. The blood tests results were in and my GP didn't want to wait until my scheduled appointment tomorrow to see me.

I walked into her office after an uncomfortable 3/4 hour wait in the waiting room. I watched her body language and facial expressions for clues of what might be to come. She smiled and told me we had got to the bottom of what was making me so sick. I had an overactive thyroid.

Both relief and concern emerged simultaneously; the concern wondered what this meant for me. The relief came with the knowing that something very physical was happening; that it wasn't my fault that I'd been unable to function 'normally' in the world all year. Or that I'd become so sick in April that I had no choice but to quit my job.

So that was 8 days ago, 4 days ago I saw an endocrinologist. My GP was very handy at pulling strings and ensuring I had specialist treatment as soon as possible.

Today a friend suggested understanding the larger meaning of all of this, of considering what this illness was offering me. I feel incredibly unwell today, too tired to do much more than get off the couch. But I agreed, I knew he was right, and I've been learning about metaphysics for years. I guess I had never really had a serious illness to put the concepts to work.

He made me list 5 reasons why the illness was benefiting me. They rolled off my tongue with little thought. I promised I would write. He said 'yes writing, I feel that you should write it all out, perhaps a blog, then it could help others.' In my heart I knew he was right, I know that 'this' is happening for a reason. I can stay fearful and dutifully take my medication; without any guarantee that the underlying cause or the lessons I need to learn will be revealed or healed.

For many years I have believed in the theory that our body will mirror the imbalances of all areas of our life and once recognised provide potential for growth. I also believe that the way western medicine dismisses this is a major limitation to our healing; for it cannot be truly holistic when it frequently treats symptoms rather than causes. The fact that this diagnosis has forced me to be still for yet another 4 weeks is already doing me a huge favour. I am being prevented from taking a job which inevitably would mean returning to a life that clearly my soul, nor my heart desire.

Today when my friend challenged me about simply taking medication and doing nothing much else for my condition he woke me up. It wasn't easy and in my current tired and unwell state I didn't particularly want to hear that I had more work to do. He invited me to get excited about this and see it as an opportunity. Creating the blog is my first step; I'm putting some theories to the test because I have a knowing inside that he is right, perhaps I just wandered off track for a little bit, no blame, no judgment, it is what it is. Let me try to have fun with this! There is more here for me. The answer is writing. The answer is listening. The answer is Trust. So here goes...

2/11/2010 Note: While I was initially told I had Graves disease which is an auto-immune disorder, I now know that my condition was caused by consuming dangerous amounts of Iodine in the soy milk Bonsoy. This condition is expected to be healed in time as my thyroid recovers and the excess iodine leaves my body.

Like The Answer Is Writing? You might also like Inner Beam.