Navigating health systems....trusting your gut.

As I have written about recently, I've been meditating, in order to help myself feel better and to give my body the space and tranquility it needs for healing. However, there's other things apart from meditation that I am doing for my Self as a part of my journey to feel well. I find that discussing what's going on for me with someone who can understand helps alot. It might be a psychologist, doctor, reiki practitioner, naturopath or chinese doctor. As I've written about recently, I have decided not to simply leave my health in the hands of a specialist, but to be pro-active in learning more about hyperthyroidism and the possible causes and cures.

I am trying to support my healing in a really holistic way. Fortunately my alternative health practitioners are open to working with conventional western medicine and employ an open mind and allow their intuition to offer me guidance. I appreciate this hugely, because I know just how powerful intuition can be. I know that science has it's place and is incredibly important; which is why I wouldn't deny it. But I certainly do question why some doctors and specialists are choosy about which science they listen to, I also think critically about the ways in which they come to learn their particular science; who taught them? Who decided what was to be a part of the curriculum and what wasn't? Which pharmaceutical companies are involved in doctor's ongoing education?

I know it's controversial to talk in this way, but I don't expect anyone reading this to share my views, I don't propose to know it all. But I do want to talk about my wonderings about the whole western medicine deal. This has come up for me this week because I called my GP to discuss with her about my belief that my condition has come about as a result of drinking the soy product Bonsoy. For those who don't know, Bonsoy was recalled just before Christmas last year after 10+ people became ill after drinking the product over an extended period of time. The people who consumed the product all had thyroid conditions as a result of the excess iodine. Just one eighth of a cup of Bonsoy contained more than the safe levels of iodine that we should consume in one day. I drank an average of 2-3 cups of Bonsoy a day for about 2 years. She was very dismissive of what I had to say; debating the science of it and telling me that the most common cause of overactive thyroids in young women is Grave's disease.

Ok, Doctor, I may not have a degree in Medicine, but I am thinking that if it is now known that 25+ people know for sure that their thyroids made them sick after drinking Bonsoy, and I don't have a family history of thyroid disease, and I was drinking 24+ times the amount of iodine that I should have in a day for about 2 years, and the medication for Grave's disease didn't work as expected in my first month of treatment...is it not just as likely that excess iodine consumption has called my illness?

My final suggestion to the Dr was that my naturopath believed it likely that I had an excess of iodine in my system. The Dr then completely undermined the field of Naturopathy by telling me that they don't go to University and don't study bio-chemistry. And finally, warned me not to take any herbs from the Naturopath. She said I could see the Naturopath if it made me feel better to talk to her, but other than that, not to take on any advice from anyone other than my specialist. Uh, Dr, I can see a psychologist to talk, I see a Naturopath for a natural and holistic approach to healing and to learn from their wisdom. Just in case anyone is wondering, Naturopath's study for their degree, full time it takes four years.

So you can imagine how I felt after the conversation with the Dr, incredibly disappointed. She was afraid I was going to give up on the western medicine approach and 'go off with the pixies' or something. No, I am an intelligent young woman, trying to learn as much as I can about my condition so as I can make informed choices, because I want to get to the bottom of this and I want to be well! This means I'm going to explore various avenues for my own healing. I also listen to my own intuition and to people I trust around me. Two health professionals suggested I see the Naturopath that I did because they told me she has helped people with thryoid issues before; she is also personally experienced because she works with a western medicine Dr to help with her own thyroid issue.

I don't claim to have all of the answers, but I am definitely asking questions. Yes, I can get conflicting answers and it is sad when someone you like and wish to trust gives you advice that goes against what your believe in and what your gut is telling you. I am choosing to trust myself, while playing it as safe as I can and keeping the people with the knowledge close to me.

For now I don't have lots of answers, but I think all the questions are helping me to get closer. I also feel a sense of calm about things and trust that I am headed in the right direction with the right people. I also trust in myself and ability to listen to my own intution. Intuition might not be in the dictionary for GP's, but I am sure keeping it in mine!

If you've got a thought on this topic, please share them with me, I'd love to hear from you.

P.S Here's a link to find Doctors in your state who have studied at the Australian College of Nutritional & Environmental Medicine. I'm going to find one in Melbourne and see what they can offer, I shall let you know here!

Like The Answer Is Writing? You might also like my other blog, Inner Beam.

The process of healing

Wow, what a week it has been. I have been staying with my parents for the last month now, the hyperthyroidism has hit me hard and left me incredibly tired, occasionally nauseous and dealing with heart palpitations. On Friday we headed off to Melbourne to see the endocrinologist and to catch up with my GP. On Friday the specialist informed me that my thyroid was still just as over active as ever; which was disappointing for both of us. Surprisingly I coped ok with the news.

Then off to the GP, who I adore, she is my favourite GP ever! She is so lovely and appears relaxed; I am truly grateful to have found someone I trust and can speak openly with. I don't feel like just another number. She takes the time to understand me and meet me where I am at. We chatted about my news from the specialist and all things thyroid related for nearly an hour. It was nice to have her to discuss things with and to normalise all that I'd been experiencing recently.

So the specialist has increased my anti-thyroid medication by double, I have realised that it is my role to not just sit on the couch and take the medicine, but to take an active role in my healing. I am calling people who I think can help and asking questions. I am being encouraged to continue asking questions to truly uncover the cause of my thyroid going crazy and overdoing it. Sarah Wilson's blog has truly inspired me, she has experienced both hyperthyroidism and hypothyroidism; the latter came over 10 years after the former for her. It started out as mine is now, way too fast, and then became way too slow.

My favourite part of her blog post is this:

If I could send a note to myself two years ago, it would say:
Dearest Sarah,  Please, please be kind to yourself. It’s your abrupt, impatient, push-yourself-to-limits approach that landed you here in the first place. Healing will come when – and as – you learn to be kinder and gentler to yourself. This is good news. It’s time to treat yourself well. From Me. x

Well don't I resonate with this! I am learning how to be kind and gentle with myself; to put my own needs first, because if I don't, how is it fair to expect that anyone else will? I could be waiting a long time.
I am the only person who can do the healing for me, others can be there to help, to facilitate, to offer guidance or suggestions, but it is me who must make the choices and discern what is right for me. The learning is all here for me; I have known this ever since I became unwell in April (see the beginnings of this journey here Inner Beam). It seems that I have re-opened to this many times. Sometimes just dealing with my symptoms and how I feel becomes all consuming; but then there comes a point where I come up for a breath and re-focus, re-commit to this journey I am on of growth, healing and forgiveness.

Yes forgiveness. Yesterday I had a conversation about this with a wise woman; she spoke about how different organs hold various emotions. We decided that due to my history of not putting my own needs first and focussing on others, there was surely a part of me becoming mighty pissed off about this. I haven't really been aware of such ill feelings, which means the feelings would be unconscious, they must have been going somewhere. The liver perhaps?

I opened to the possibility that there are feelings of anger and resentment being stored by my liver; that I have not necessarily been aware of, but that my liver or other organs have been dealing with. If you're interested in this concept that we store emotions in our body I can reccomend Louise Hay's 'You Can Heal Your Life' for reading, as well as Caroline Myss's Anatomy of The Spirit, which I am currently reading. I am very interested in understanding such concepts more so and have ensured that I have people and books around me who can help me on this path. Alongside these more holistic approaches to healing I am also continuing with the western medical approach and taking my anti-thyroid drugs.

Today I am venturing to see an acupuncturist, she is a family friend and I haven't been to see her since April, when I first became unwell.  I have been having Chinese Medicine treatment in Melbourne since May and I think it helped to keep me reasonably well, all things considered. I believe it is essential to continue with it,  it is very powerful.

The healing process is a bit like a ball of wool, unravelling and revealing more. Sometimes my thyroid is like a kitten, pushing and pulling on the ball of wool, forcing things to shift and change, more and more is revealed. Sometimes I am the one pulling the end of the string, sometimes it's friends, family, my partner or the health professionals in my life. The process is truly a joint effort, I am grateful for the input of all. Thanks to my thyroid for pushing me beyond my comfort zone, thanks to the family, friends and professionals for supporting me as I am pushed and prodded by this illness. Thanks for being there to hold me and help me to feel safe. I am hugely grateful to my wonderful partner for hanging  in there and being the support that he is in this time. Even though it feels like we've known each other for a long time, the reality is that in the time that we have known each other I have been unwell for at least a third of it. I think he's pretty amazing.

Like The Answer Is Writing? You might also like Inner Beam.